This weekend I went to the beach and saw what I thought was a beached whale along the road. After getting a little closer, I saw that it was actually a Porsche Panamera. Man, what a hideous car. I mean seriously, why can't Porsche ever make a good looking car? Now before you get bent out of shape, I do not mean the 911. That is a thing a beauty and I would give your left arm to have one but it was originally designed in the 60s. And the one today? Its the exact same design except for some cosmetic updates. Ultimately, the 2010 911 and the 1963 911 are basically the exact same shape and layout aside from, I dunno, erosion. Look and compare for yourself.
Porsche designers must be the laziest auto designers in the industry. Their best looking car is the 911 Carrera. That itself has been modeled off the same design from 40 years ago and every time Porsche strays from that, it blows. Blows like a blow-hole. The farther they leave their "formula" look, the worse it gets. The boxter is bleh, and the cayman is marginally better, but only because it just looks like a poor mans 911. The only other drastic design from "Porsche shape" would be the Cayenne, which isn't a very good looking SUV. It doesnt look either rugged or sporty. Its just kinda...there. And honestly, there was not a whole of design that went int it. It's not THAT big of a difference from their sports cars. All the designers did was take a 911-shaped balloon, over-inflate it, and throw it onto a set of off-road wheels. "Ta-da! Zhere, its zee Cayenne."
I suppose I could give Porsche a break since its their first venture into a four-door luxury sedan. However, Lamborghini and Aston Martin also took stabs at luxury super-saloons and check out what they came up with:
The Lamborghini Estoque: Part sophisticated business man, part savage serial killer. Stylish and yet, you know its a wid beast.
The Aston Martin Rapide: Now that is proper. Kinda just seems like a streched out Vanquish, but still spetacularly executed. Sexy lines and its so hot, it comes with bond girls!
Look at how well these other supercar marques are able to incorporate their style into a four-door and make it look appealing and sexy. And what does Porsche give us? A retarded wagon-looking blob. Well, if you ever see a beached whale or a Porsche Panamera parked along-side the beach, you should do the same thing: push that sucker back into the ocean where it belongs.
